What's goin' on now

i told my parents about the baby last week. i suck at keeping secrets. They are pretty happy, though i suspect they are wary about the timing with our financial situation as, well, dire as it is. My boss is a big encouragement to me. He's got a good quote for just about every situation in life, and his offering for this pregnancy was "If you wait to leave until all the lights are green, you'll never get out of the house." Most would say that it would have been a better idea to wait until we had more money, but really, you never have enough money to have a child. Here is where we wait on God to provide for our needs (and are sure to thank Him when He does.)

With David, i started calling him Grape, because he was the size of a grape when i found out about him. This one is Sesame. You will notice the size difference between the two: i was looking for this baby much sooner than i was with David:)

A lot of our family knows about the baby, and most of my friends. i've told my brother and my parents, and then later Kris and i told his parents, who were very surprised/impressed about this one being conceived on purpose. (My mom, by the way, is excited that this is her first legitimately conceived grandchild:) Anyway, my MIL accidentally spilled the beans to my 4-year-old niece, who promptly called my SIL (her mom) and told her. So now they know, leaving one aunt and uncle on my parent's side and two grandmas, two great-aunts, and one BIL on Kris' side to find out.

We've come up with a really cute way of telling everyone in the family about the baby. David's family birthday party is this upcoming Sunday, and we'll have appetizers/talking, presents, then food and finally cake. David will eat his cake, necessarily getting his outer sweater all dirty. We will pull off his sweater, revealing his t-shirt that says "I'm going to be a big brother!" which i received from cafepress.com a couple days ago. That way, he will have his whole birthday with the attention on him, then as the party is over but everyone is still there, he will be the one to break the news. Pretty cool, huh? i'm excited.

So far, this baby has been pretty easy on me. No morning sickness, no breast tenderness, but i have been extremely tired, and get ravenously hungry in a moment's notice. i can deal with this, as usually a handful of Goldfish will keep me going until i can get something more filling. But sometimes i eat handfuls of Goldfish and then feel gross. i've really got to be more deliberate about choosing meals and having food on hand that is healthy.

i haven't quit caffeine. Is this horrible? i don't drink much caffeine daily, but i really do enjoy my Diet Coke Lime. i've been trying to drink more water to balance this out. Also, coffee with French vanilla creamer...yum. If i go through all the trouble of making coffee for Kris, shouldn't i benefit from the exertion? Yes, there are caffeine free and decaf offerings. But let's face it. Kris wouldn't stand for decaf, so i'd have to make multiple pots a day. So caffeine is a vice i'm allowing myself without too much guilt. This pregnancy is all about letting go of the guilt, while making conscious efforts to better myself with realistic expectations. i learned a lot during the last pregnancy, and i plan to do the same with this one. Also, a glass of wine every so often? Not the end of the world. In fact, if it makes me feel like a grownup and not just a baby factory, it will probably do good.

There is a lot of difference, this being my second pregnancy. First of all, i'm not poring over pregnancy books and websites for hours a day, wondering about prenatal vitamins or how i'll know if the baby is kicking. Let's face it: i've got two birthday parties to plan and two boys to look after. This pregnancy doesn't feel novel the way the other did, but it does feel good. i'm really glad we've started working on another baby, and David will have a little sibling to teach to crawl. i'm glad Kris and i are so united in this. This is a giant step he and i have made completely together, and it's brought us closer. It is such a joy, truly, knowing that we will be a family of four. It is also so scary, because we will be a family of four. Like a real grown-up couple with kids and a townhouse. Oh, and wait for it, we just got a minivan. We are officially 40 years old. But this is totally where i've always wanted to be. i'm married to a fantastic guy, we've got out 1.3 kids, live in our own place, and i play piano at church. Really, i'm so excited to see where we will go from here.