ultrasound results

So i went to the ultrasound today. i was really scared, and drinking 32 oz. of water in an hour really made me have to pee! But anyway, i went and saw my beautiful ultrasound technician, Tanya. We looked at baby Blueberry and her/his heartbeat was very strong and the baby looked fine.

My uterus had a weird pocket of blood, called a Subchorionic Hemorrhage, but my ultrasound tech and doctor said it's small enough that it's not a huge deal.

Oh, on the topic, i finally met my doctor today! He's very old. Plus, i think he came right to my appointment from a delivery, because i had to wait for him to arrive, and he seemed out of it. But guys, he's really old. The 30-something nurse i had at his clinic said that both her younger and older brothers were delivered by him! Anyway, i think he was distracted from the delivery he had come from, or was having a bad day, because he seemed kind of rushed and his bedside manner left a bit to be desired. He is very kind, but he seemed to forget with what gravity he should say things. Like when i asked him when i should get an ultrasound again, he said "Oh, i'll have you get one at the end of next week, just to make sure the baby's still alive." Very reassuring. Then he kind of finished up our appointment to go see his schedule for the week following the next ultrasound, and he kept popping his head in the door, asking weird questions, the weirdest one being:

Him: "How many children do you have? Two?"
Us: "Just one other one."
Him: "OK". (disappeared.) Kris and i spent quite a while wondering why he asked that, and could never figure out an answer.

The nurses i've talked to said they all love him, and he is usually very thorough, almost TOO thorough and caring about his patients, so i'm thinking he just had an off day.

Then the nurse came in and gave me a Rhogam shot, just in case. i wonder how much all of this will end up costing me. i just finished paying off the clinic for being pregnant with David, and we had no complications with him. Darned 80/20 insurance! Of course, the most important thing is the baby's and my safety. But sometimes i wish Kris worked at a place where we'd pay more monthly, or have a higher deductible, and have full coverage.

It's been a very long day. i'm going to bed. Thanks for caring, everyone! It was good news, in general. Good strong heartbeat and nothing too scary to worry about. i'm glad today is OVER!

Tiny worry

i started spotting again today. i called the on call doctor, and he said there was a good chance the spotting was simply related to intercourse, but as this was the second time of bleeding in a week, i should get an ultrasound. So i'll call the clinic tomorrow morning and schedule an ultrasound, which will hopefully be soon. i love the U/S tech, too. Her name is Tanya, and she'll be really excited that we're having a baby again. We like to joke and say she was David's first photographer:)

Anyway, it's not worry-worthy, but it's pray-worthy, so please pray if you find yourself with a minute and the inspiration.

Also, one of my best friends is in the hospital right now. She's 25 weeks pregnant, with placenta previa, having some spotting and lots of contractions, and her baby's heart rate has been dropping with the contractions. It's really scary. It's her third time in the hospital in the last month, but this is the first time they've ever used the words "possible pre-term labor." Please keep her, and her little tiny baby boy, Caedmon in your prayers, too. i'll hopefully know what's going on with her soon.

Baby blueberry

How your baby's growing:

The big news this week: Hands and feet are emerging from developing arms and legs — although they look more like paddles at this point than the tiny, pudgy extremities you're daydreaming about holding and tickling. Technically, your baby is still considered an embryo and has something of a small tail, which is an extension of her tailbone. The tail will disappear within a few weeks, but that's the only thing getting smaller. Your baby has doubled in size since last week and now measures half an inch long, about the size of a blueberry.

If you could see inside your womb, you'd spot eyelid folds partially covering her peepers, which already have some color, as well as the tip of her nose and tiny veins beneath parchment-thin skin. Both hemispheres of your baby's brain are growing, and her liver is churning out red blood cells until her bone marrow forms and takes over this role. She also has an appendix and a pancreas, which will eventually produce the hormone insulin to aid in digestion. A loop in your baby's growing intestines is bulging into her umbilical cord, which now has distinct blood vessels to carry oxygen and nutrients to and from her tiny body.

Crazy new realizations

All of these things are going through my head about how life will be different once there are two kids. And all these new things keep coming up and i have no idea how i'll deal with them.

• Having an infant and a toddler in a cart and trying to grocery shop at the same time.
• Going to church and carrying in a diaper bag, an infant carrier, and a toddler at the same time.
• Having an infant screaming possibly all night for various reasons and trying to keep a toddler who already is a light sleeper sleeping through the racket.
• Trying to be physically active with David with a tiny baby, or even while very pregnant

Things i'm excited about learning to do:

• Learning how to hold them both in my lap at the same time
• Teaching them to love each other and to share
• Make up games and have family inside jokes
• Eventually, hear them make music together. i get the chills just thinking about it!
  

Yesterday's scary day

Yesterday wasn't a great day. At about 10 AM, David and i were at Target, and i felt a little bit like i had urinated myself. We went home and yes, i had kind of gushed blood. So of course, i started freaking out. My appointment was at 1 PM, and the nurse on call said i should wait till the appointment, especially since i stopped bleeding after the one initial time. So i went to the appointment and the nurse and i had our normal first prenatal visit. She said she thought i'd be fine since i had stopped bleeding, but she ordered a lot of blood tests and so if anything is wrong, i will hear from them soon. Since she figured the tests would be completed yesterday still, the fact i haven't heard anything is very good. i was shaky the rest of the day though!

When we got home, we put David down for a nap and then Kris and i also fell asleep, to wake up about 2 hours later. Our whole family was exhausted from the stress of David's birthday parties last weekend and the worry about the baby. We had a nice little evening at home, and then went to bed early and slept very well last night, too. i think we all needed the rest. Anyway, little baby should be fine, though the nurse said that i should stop going to Curves or doing super athletic activities for a while, until we've had an ultrasound.


Anyway, i'm glad yesterday is over!

Later today....

i've got my first prenatal appointment today. Hopefully i will get my official due date. i've gone online and gotten a few different due dates based on my last period, but since none of them agree, i will be looking forward to the one from the nurse. i'm not going to get to see the doctor today, because they like to wait till you're farther along to bother with you. i found with David, though, that the doctor doesn't matter as much as the nurse you see, anyway. Hopefully i get my regular nurse from David, because i'm going back to the same clinic because i loved her!

We announced the pregnancy last night at David's party. Everyone was so excited!!! And my mother-in-law, (who already knew) brought me a gift of this sweet little pink beanie baby "in hopes" that it's a girl. If it turns out to be a boy, i'll probably have to delete a lot of what i write in this blog so it doesn't scar him for life! But when everyone saw David's shirt, there was a good 5 seconds of silence, and then a "Really?!" and then congratulating. It was very nice and enough celebration to satisfy even me.

If it does turn out to be a girl, i have lots of people who are willing to loan me girl clothes.

Here's something i really like about motherhood. It is such an equalizer. You can talk to any woman with a child when you've got yours with you. You make friends in elevators, stores, anywhere. The mom can be wearing much more expensive clothes than you do, look completely different, be a different race, and it doesn't matter. The phrase "How old is yours?" is sure to bring out a good conversation and an empathetic ear. Moms also know that it sucks to have to buy clothes and toys and baby gear, so it's like we all have a free rental system. i had maternity clothes out to my friend Cassie until she had her baby. David is sleeping in his cousins' crib and is changed on their changing table. My friend Sarah's baby Macy is using David's swing. About half of David's whole wardrobe was given to us by people who are done having babies. It's this world of giving and generosity and sincere support that i didn't know existed until having David. You always see moms together, but when you become a parent, it's easy to understand why. Being a mother has brought me back to being close with friends i'd grown apart from, because we suddenly have this giant thing in common. It's a not-so-secret secret society:)

Anyway, i'll let you know what happens at the nurse prenatal appointment.

Baby Lentil

Your pregnancy: 6 weeks

Click to enlarge

How your baby's growing: This week's major developments: The nose, mouth, and ears that you'll spend so much time kissing in eight months are beginning to take shape. If you could see into your uterus, you'd find an oversize head and dark spots where your baby's eyes and nostrils are starting to form. His emerging ears are marked by small depressions on the sides of the head, and his arms and legs by protruding buds. His heart is beating about 100 to 160 times a minute — almost twice as fast as yours — and blood is beginning to course through his body. His intestines are developing, and the bud of tissue that will give rise to his lungs has appeared. His pituitary gland is forming, as are the rest of his brain, muscles, and bones. Right now, your baby is a quarter of an inch long, about the size of a lentil bean.

See what's going on in your uterus this week.

Note: Every baby develops a little differently — even in the womb. Our information is designed to give you a general idea of your baby's development.

How your life's changing: You may find yourself developing a bit of a split personality — feeling moody one day and joyful the next. Unsettling as this is (especially if you pride yourself on being in control), what you're going through is normal. Ricocheting emotions are caused partly by fluctuating hormones. But hormones aside, your life is about to change in a big way — and who wouldn't feel emotional about that?

(side note: those ricocheting emotions are definitely becoming a major part of my life! It's like this article was written about me!)

What's goin' on now

i told my parents about the baby last week. i suck at keeping secrets. They are pretty happy, though i suspect they are wary about the timing with our financial situation as, well, dire as it is. My boss is a big encouragement to me. He's got a good quote for just about every situation in life, and his offering for this pregnancy was "If you wait to leave until all the lights are green, you'll never get out of the house." Most would say that it would have been a better idea to wait until we had more money, but really, you never have enough money to have a child. Here is where we wait on God to provide for our needs (and are sure to thank Him when He does.)

With David, i started calling him Grape, because he was the size of a grape when i found out about him. This one is Sesame. You will notice the size difference between the two: i was looking for this baby much sooner than i was with David:)

A lot of our family knows about the baby, and most of my friends. i've told my brother and my parents, and then later Kris and i told his parents, who were very surprised/impressed about this one being conceived on purpose. (My mom, by the way, is excited that this is her first legitimately conceived grandchild:) Anyway, my MIL accidentally spilled the beans to my 4-year-old niece, who promptly called my SIL (her mom) and told her. So now they know, leaving one aunt and uncle on my parent's side and two grandmas, two great-aunts, and one BIL on Kris' side to find out.

We've come up with a really cute way of telling everyone in the family about the baby. David's family birthday party is this upcoming Sunday, and we'll have appetizers/talking, presents, then food and finally cake. David will eat his cake, necessarily getting his outer sweater all dirty. We will pull off his sweater, revealing his t-shirt that says "I'm going to be a big brother!" which i received from cafepress.com a couple days ago. That way, he will have his whole birthday with the attention on him, then as the party is over but everyone is still there, he will be the one to break the news. Pretty cool, huh? i'm excited.

So far, this baby has been pretty easy on me. No morning sickness, no breast tenderness, but i have been extremely tired, and get ravenously hungry in a moment's notice. i can deal with this, as usually a handful of Goldfish will keep me going until i can get something more filling. But sometimes i eat handfuls of Goldfish and then feel gross. i've really got to be more deliberate about choosing meals and having food on hand that is healthy.

i haven't quit caffeine. Is this horrible? i don't drink much caffeine daily, but i really do enjoy my Diet Coke Lime. i've been trying to drink more water to balance this out. Also, coffee with French vanilla creamer...yum. If i go through all the trouble of making coffee for Kris, shouldn't i benefit from the exertion? Yes, there are caffeine free and decaf offerings. But let's face it. Kris wouldn't stand for decaf, so i'd have to make multiple pots a day. So caffeine is a vice i'm allowing myself without too much guilt. This pregnancy is all about letting go of the guilt, while making conscious efforts to better myself with realistic expectations. i learned a lot during the last pregnancy, and i plan to do the same with this one. Also, a glass of wine every so often? Not the end of the world. In fact, if it makes me feel like a grownup and not just a baby factory, it will probably do good.

There is a lot of difference, this being my second pregnancy. First of all, i'm not poring over pregnancy books and websites for hours a day, wondering about prenatal vitamins or how i'll know if the baby is kicking. Let's face it: i've got two birthday parties to plan and two boys to look after. This pregnancy doesn't feel novel the way the other did, but it does feel good. i'm really glad we've started working on another baby, and David will have a little sibling to teach to crawl. i'm glad Kris and i are so united in this. This is a giant step he and i have made completely together, and it's brought us closer. It is such a joy, truly, knowing that we will be a family of four. It is also so scary, because we will be a family of four. Like a real grown-up couple with kids and a townhouse. Oh, and wait for it, we just got a minivan. We are officially 40 years old. But this is totally where i've always wanted to be. i'm married to a fantastic guy, we've got out 1.3 kids, live in our own place, and i play piano at church. Really, i'm so excited to see where we will go from here.

My Sesame, week 5

from Babycenter.com

Your pregnancy: 5 weeks

Click to enlarge

How your baby's growing:

Deep in your uterus your embryo is growing at a furious pace. At this point, he's about the size of a sesame seed, and he looks more like a tiny tadpole than a human. He's now made up of three layers — the ectoderm, the mesoderm, and the endoderm — which will later form all of his organs and tissues.

The neural tube — from which your baby's brain, spinal cord, nerves, and backbone will sprout — is starting to develop in the top layer, called the ectoderm. This layer will also give rise to his skin, hair, nails, mammary and sweat glands, and tooth enamel.

His heart and circulatory system begin to form in the middle layer, or mesoderm. (This week, in fact, his tiny heart begins to divide into chambers and beat and pump blood.) The mesoderm will also form your baby's muscles, cartilage, bone, and subcutaneous (under skin) tissue.

The third layer, or endoderm, will house his lungs, intestines, and rudimentary urinary system, as well as his thyroid, liver, and pancreas. In the meantime, the primitive placenta and umbilical cord, which deliver nourishment and oxygen to your baby, are already on the job.

It's a baby!

Hi everyone! Many of you won't read this until a few weeks from now, but i wanted to begin chronicling this wonderful story now.

A few weeks ago, kind of beginning of January, Kris and i decided it would be fun and good to try to have another baby. There are several reasons:

• We want our kids close together. David is turning a year old in 2 weeks, and we wanted them close enough in age where they can entertain each other. My brother and i were 7 years apart, so we never got to be friends until he went to college. Plus, once i have two, i won't be the only source of entertainment for David.
• We wanted to have it before we move to Colorado, which would be kind of late August of 2009. It is much harder to move cross-country either pregnant or with a tiny baby. The new baby will be about 8 months old at that time.
• David is such a great baby, we feel it is our duty to humanity to continue to reproduce.
• i must have a girl! This will probably come to bite me someday, but i will have children until i have a girl.
  

So anyway, those were our reasons. i had discontinued taking meds for my hypothyroidism kind of June of 2007, and was starting to have lots of really negative symptoms, so in December i started taking meds again, and am now feeling much better. i have lots more energy and less mood swings than i was having. i had also been gaining weight at kind of an alarming rate, despite diet and exercise, and now i haven't been gaining since i started the pills again. i haven't lost anything yet, but it should kickstart my metabolism so i will lose it or have some turn into muscle, depending on if i'm allowed to work out the same way pregnant.

The doctor wanted my thyroid to be normal before i tried having a baby again, so now that i feel much better, we started trying. i had my last period on Jan. 6, and took ovulation tests and ovulated at about Jan 19th or so. So Kris and i went to work at making a baby, and even though i really shouldn't have taken a test until at least tomorrow, i got really impatient at about 4:30 this morning and took a test. And it was positive! i didn't wake Kris up, though. i just watched a movie until i could fall asleep again, and waited for Kris to go to the bathroom in the morning, with the test there waiting for him. He was pretty happy, though he didn't feel very good and was a bit groggy....i should have shown it to him later in the day, rather than first thing in the morning. But anyway, we're pregnant! And it was on purpose this time, which is always a plus:)

i haven't felt any symptoms yet. i never had morning sickness or anything with David, just an aversion to poultry and later on, my hips hurt and my ankles were swollen. i really lucked out with him. Hopefully it stays this way with New Baby. It still feels kind of surreal. We had just started trying, and Boom! i was pregnant. My stomach feels fluttery and happy.

We won't be telling a lot of people yet, just my closest and/or pregnant friends. We won't tell parents till we have a doctor's appointment. i'm a little nervous about how that will go. i'm afraid they will say we're irresponsible, since we're so broke. People keep telling me, though, that if you wait until you have enough money to have a baby, you'll never have a baby. But Kris will be getting a call from Allina about the jobs he applied for his week, and if he doesn't get them, he's planning on working fast food or landscaping, both of which he has spent years doing in the past. He basically needs a day job where he can be done at about 3 so he can go to work at Outback at night. He's a really hard worker.

We've had baby names ever since we'd been dating about 2 years. We've already got David Kristopher, (David was Kris' best friend since kindergarten who is no longer with us) and Kristopher is obviously for Dada. If this baby is a girl, her name will be Cadence Rae. Cadence is a name i've always loved, and Rae is my middle name, and also my dad's first name is Ray, so it's kind of after him. If this baby is a boy, he will be Jeremy Kurt. Jeremy is the name of a miscarried baby my parents had between my brother and i, and Kurt is David's paternal grandfather's name.

So that is my first post. i was not very good at chronicling the events of David's life in utero, or even post-utero, but i'm determined that this baby will be well-documented.

Welcome Baby J or C!